Outfit of the day pictures are over-rated. They are more of what I can see when standing in front of the mirror or what the world sees me wear. The little details are what I can see for myself when I wear a garment and what makes it a pleasure to own the clothes … It could be a color. Or a texture. Or a print. Or a combination. Or something as little as the buttons. Or the presence of a pocket. They should be celebrated too. Do you feel this way about your clothes too ? Exercise of the week : photograph a subtle detail in the outfit every day .
“Remember when we were kids and Edmond got that whistle for his birthday, and you got a pony? You were so mad Edmond was happier with his whistle than you were with your pony.” – Mercedes, Count of Monte Cristo.
That is how I feel about this thrifted polka dot scarf. It cost me nothing but I think it makes my outfits. Poplin shirt dress by Steven Alan.
Comme Des Garcons chambray shirt. I don’t reach for the shirt often for being man repeller-ish but once I wear it, it feels very feminine due to the peter pan collar. All this being said, I have a constant urge to dye this shirt indigo. Anything that is good in the color gray might look better in blue.
Gray poplin + pink leather + blue denim
A perfume that I have worn for the last 5 years.
Lace by La Perla.
The patina on my brown tote and the tarnished brass hardware.
Oxfords are my equivalent of heels. I can walk, dance, run without complaining on date nights.
Question from the book ‘Women in Clothes‘ :
When you look at yourself before going out, and you are trying to see yourself from the outside, what is this “other person” like ? What does she like, dislike, what sorts of judgments does she have ? Is this “outer eye” based on someone you know or knew once ?
1. My husband is on the top of the list. I sometimes catch him peeking at me when I dress and it matters.
2. when in India, my mother : she notices the little details. She really enjoys seeing her daughter wear nice clothes. I see her for 10 days in the year. I even let her pick out what to wear because those 10 days give her visual memories that stay with her for till my next visit.
3. As I got older, I stopped caring about impressing people with my clothes and started dressing for my own pleasure. On an everyday basis, I really don’t think there is an “other person” whose judgment I care about.
4. BUT : The more I am around folks who are well dressed, the more effort I put in.
5. When I post OOTD pictures on the internet, I would like to think I am celebrating my style and my choices. I hope that I never will fake an outfit for approval. Personal style isn’t a competition or sport.
That photo where you adjust your cuff – beautifully done; it reminds me of paolo roversi, one of my favourite fashion photographers. He did a lot of work with Italian vogue, W and iD that I love.
I agree about the details. To answer your woman in clothes question: I dress entirely for my own eye, even when I was in relationships with boyfriends who paid attention to and commented on my clothes. It was funny because we often liked the same things and often I knew I was at least dating a man with an open mind, when he didn’t mind that sometimes we dressed alike (shirts, jeans)! My outfits please me in ways I know no one else cares about, or notice, and I enjoy that. I’m still not entirely sure what other people see.
Oh, I do remember making sure I wore somewhat more “feminine” dresses to weddings, so that I wouldn’t hog any attention from my relatives who like complaining that I dress too androgynously.
And I have noticed that at the moment I enjoy not dressing like a typical gringo backpacker hahah. I can tell when I walk into a place and people aren’t entirely sure what I am – am I a backpacker holed up in a 10-bed dorm or am I here for some other reason (professional reasons?). Maybe it’s because I’m also older than most solo travellers.
paolo roversi – his images are gorgeous. I always learn something from your blog posts and comments.
My images are more – happy accidents. It’s hard for me to take self-portraits of the details. We have a glass window and its been adding a nice mood to most of my pictures without my trying. Another happy accident 🙂
Weddings always are tricky for me. American weddings are easy – a blue dress and lace up flats. Indian weddings is when I feel every thing inside me topple. I hate the pencil skirt and a saree’s skirt is the longest pencil skirt. I dont like pleats and the saree has it. I let it be because I cant fight the traditional police and want to please my family.
The question I have always wanted to ask you : have your style changed in the last few years ? Or steered a little to the left or the right ? Or were you born with it ? ( If I were to guess, I would guess its innate ).
Oh, I do love your blogposts 🙂
To answer your question:
1. My husband like you. I love that he love me being “empowered” by my clothes.
2. My own aesthetics. My aesthetics are based on Scandinavian functionalism, modernism and minimalism.
3. My age. Not the kind of age related rules, that I can’t wear this or that. More being an respectful adult acknowledging the specific social situation I’m in.
If I don’t want to talk about what to buy next, there is only a few things I can talk about. I am glad you can relate to. Do let me know when it gets boring.
Age. Absolutely. I dont think of it on an everday basis but over time, it has factored into the way I dress.
Thank you for sharing !
I thought I understood your questions but then I read everyone else’s responses.. and no, I don’t really get what you are trying to ask. I thought you were asking about “other person” as a way to refer to one’s own objective assessment of oneself. In that case, “husband” does not fit. So yes, I am kinda lost. 🙂
Hummm, they are not really my questions. I picked it up from the book.
Please please go ahead with your interpretation of the question.
I’m with Lakshmi, I read it differently to everyone’s answers – if that makes sense, so I thought it was asking about the persona we see or at least hope to see reflected in our clothes/image in the mirror. I always want to look like a cool carefree beachy woman but I think I’m just too naturally uptight and when I try to look undone I just look messy, I honestly think people see someone who is a bit self conscious but our perceptions are so skewed, maybe I look haughty!
Beautiful pictures.
Please interpret the question as you see fit. I think I equated it with ‘whose voice do you hear on the other side when are dressing up to go to an event’.
A question for you : do you think clothes should be associated with a personality? Can a beach bum want to wear a structured jacket ? Can a CEO who is very OCD a hoodie? If I were to take a guess, I think the lines are blurring in certain places of the world.
And thank you Charlotte.
Good question, I don’t think clothes should be associated with a personality but I do think we judge that to be so, but maybe the nature of certain clothing choices lead us to that too, I don’t think a beach bum would like the constriction of a tailored suit, I think a CEO in the media or Silicon Valley might wear a hoodie but not someone in law, it’s definitely blurring but I also think certain choices match up with certain traits/personalities and of course jobs and ‘fitting in’ with one’s pack.
I keep forgetting where I live and start to generalize. If I visit India, most things I write here don’t apply to me. When I visit the east coast, my casual chic attires look shitty chic in the steak houses and meeting rooms.
But I have to say this : when I was younger, I thought since I was a free spirited girl as defined by bohemian fashion people, I thought I should repel structured clothes and wear certain silhouettes. I now get questioned about my dresses since I am classified a tomboy just because I hike and used to skateboard. Yes, a strong association exists. I hope the lines do blur out in the future. For someone like me who doesn’t fit into any of the labels, I quite feel all over the place. In an odd turn of events, I am thankful for athleisure clothing – they seem to be blurring the boundaries real fast. I used to think of futuristic clothing as gray worn in clothes from the movie Matrix. Now, I changed my vision to stretchy pants and tshirts of some sort.
These photos are beautiful, Archana. They’re so striking in their simplicity. As for your questions, I think I interpreted them in the same way Lakshmi and Charlotte did: as if they’re asking me to appraise myself as someone else would, or to look at myself as objectively as possible. When I look at myself in the mirror, I like to imagine I look stylish, but in a slightly offbeat, imperfect way. I suppose I want to come across as someone who isn’t afraid to take many of the elements of good style, but tweak them, and build upon them, adding things that are slightly daring, ultimately creating a look that’s uniquely mine. I also want to look kind of nonchalant or effortless (though just typing that sounds so pretentious I want to slap myself) — like I care about how I look, but not too much. But in the same vein as Charlotte, I feel like reality and perception probably don’t align as well as I’d like most of the time, and it’s likely that my personality sometimes shines through in a way that thwarts my desired look! On a good day, I feel like my ‘imperfections’ (namely my tousled hair, which I prefer not to brush too often), come across as charming. On a bad day (pretty much any day I stand in front of the mirror a while too long), I can hear my mother’s internalised voice tell me that I look unkempt, and to go fix my hair before I leave the house. Generally, I feel I look my best when I don’t overthink it, and spend as little time in front of the mirror as possible.
Thank you Brook. I always wished I had someone photographing me to save the time, but I appreciate the learning experience that comes from the trial and error.
The effortless cool look – that is what I envision for myself in my mind’s eye. But when I look in the mirror, I see a tired woman with clothes that need ironing and hair that needs conditioning 🙂 I might be on the same boat as you guys. I re-wired my brain to see the beauty in imperfect. The idea of effortless came from carefully crafted bloggers posing on the streets. Its not attainable for me. Somehow, I started following the Japanese workwear inspired style influencers. They are as messy as I am. They wear the same thing all the time and their clothes look old. It liberated me. Its made me so much happier since. Heck, I even post OOTDs now. If you told me this a year ago, I would have bet money against the idea.
Granted, I have only seen you via the photos you present to us via this blog, but you never look ‘messy’ to me. In some pictures, elements of your outfit appear very slightly dishevelled, but always in an artful, appealing, and approachable way. You seem to dress in a way that allows you to live as fully as possible. By absorbing your words and images, I have come to appreciate the beauty in things I never truly noticed before — the patina of age, the simple details that make a garment beautiful, if you only take time to notice them. This, in turn, has changed the way I look at other people and the way they dress. I see beauty where I didn’t see it before. Anyway, though you don’t think so yourself, to me, you actually succeed in nailing the effortless look that I try to capture, but often feel that I fall just shy of attaining. That said, I get what you mean when you say that “effortless came from carefully crafted bloggers posing on the streets.” Effortless is often not as effortless as it seems! Also, I think your comments capture something important: the idea that others see us differently than we see ourselves — and perhaps more favourably, for those of us who are prone to a degree of self-doubt about our appearance. I would do well to remember this when I get dressed in future, and cut myself some slack. As an aside, I would love to know more about the Japanese workwear inspired style influencers you follow, if you’re happy to share.
Yeah, my freshly bathed 6:30 am photos looks kind of nice. I quite want to look like that all day too. But that is fine. The picture perfect ideal life – is not for me. I quite like my messy life with mice that my cute cat brings and clothes always covered in my darling dog’s fur.
Have you read the Ponytail journal yet ? https://www.instagram.com/ponytailjournal/
https://www.instagram.com/brut_archives/
And I am a huge fan of Max Poglia. Its my fav pass time. Stalk him on instagram. He and his stylish friends in Ralph Lauren-esque looks but in worn in clothes.
We have seen images of enough men in this unkept look. We dont see enough women in such looks right ? I am seeing stylish women in classic quality clothing that they wear to death, in the Silicon Valley. I hope to get them down to interview for my blog.
Thanks for sharing these with me, Archana. I just took a quick look at each one, and Ponytail Journal, in particular, really appeals to me. Also, I would love to see more interviews with stylish women that inspire you.
I was sure that I’ve commented before 😦
Photos are beautiful and it is important to be well acquainted with your clothes to enjoy the details and not “the whole”,don’t you think?
I love the comments,as well as your answers
I dress for myself and the person I want to see in the mirror has to look smart,independent,part classy,part casual,with the strong individual sense of style (I’ve just get my completely new silk dress to the seamstress to make it different ).
But, I also dress for the occasion,my body type (you could also call it “age appropriate”) and sometimes I voluntary underdress because of the situation or people or bussines situations
My style didn’t change a lot,it only shifted ,due to life circumstances and changes
So,I have things I like ,but could sometimes consult my mother about ideas for an occasion,if I’m not sure between two choices-it could be an important bussines meeting or a wedding-she could be the objectiv one and we discuss the slightly difference in the mesagge one or another outfit could send-sometimes I accept her choice and sometimes her opinion helps me to chose the other one
Dottoressa
Sorry, my blog sometimes swallows comments for no reason. I cant seem to be able to fix it. I will host my own blog by the end of the year. Working on a design.
I hope all is well with your family and you are taking care of your self.
Our mothers seem to factor into our dressing after we have grown up ! Thats some thing I never thought would happen. When i was a child, I thought I would be this own person that is truly me. And now, i have grown into her and value her opinion. She can talk me into things that I try to fight to keep the peace in the family. I can pick a fight over being forced to wear something I dont like. And she can make me wear a gold color saree to keep the status quo. Mothers !
Dorroressa, thank you for sharing. And for liking my photos. You guys let the monster out and I am finally comfortable posing for outfit pictures.
“When you look at yourself before going out, and you are trying to see yourself from the outside, what is this “other person” like? What does she like, dislike, what sorts of judgments does she have? Is this “outer eye” based on someone you know or knew once?”
When I look at myself as I prep for going out (wherever “out” takes me), I see someone who is naturally blessed with an athletic figure, healthy hair, modest style and a good dose of otherwordliness. I see a girl/woman who has conservative tastes (currently), an individual who is not fond of attention and immensely cherishes her personal space and time. I am sure all of these inclinations influence the clothes, colors, etc. I wear. The otherworldliness is a savior too because it protects me from getting heavily influenced by styles and trends. Or so I like to think!
A lot of my energy is invested in my inner environment, as I have come to realize… I wonder if this makes me somewhat an oddity. But I fit in and stand out, in equal measure. Meaning, I am not that clueless about external trends. But I don’t have the enthusiasm to follow them, or even evince more than a passing degree of interest in them.
I suppose I am guided by intuition more than anything else. So I like to hone it… Make it finer, sharper, kinder.
Lakshmi, that is an important lesson right there. To be able to see the good in the body instead of picking out details that are supposedly flaws. As I read your words, I have been asking myself ‘why cant I do that for myself’. I am an athlete who exercises everyday and works on a goal. Instead of seeing what I have, I always see what I dont. Thank you for this.
And thank you for sharing.
Your question makes me think of contradictions. My style is quiet so I imagine if there was someone who assessed me, they would see someone boring, but on the other hand, isn’t fashion supposed to be about making a signature or a representation of yourself? I love being unassuming and on the down low, I don’t like flashy things. What about the idea that fashion should be about individuality then? Or maybe I am just rambling a bit. It’s just that I like wearing things I am comfortable with, but fashion as a badge of honour has always been a bit of an iffy concept to me.
This question has all of us going tangential does it ?
I have a large Indian circle of friends/family and I always assume people find my usage of color boring ( they say it to my face). When I have to think of the other person, they come to mind.
I think fashion can be what ever the contemporary culture wants it to be. But style is about individuality. And I am sort of very very glad to be living in an era where ‘finding personal style’ is being encouraged. If I said ‘ chunky jewellry is not my style’, I hope thats the end of it and my whole tribe is not offended.
Fashion as a badge of honor – it bags, rich dainty fabrics, furs, …. I dont get them either. The place where I live is as far from fashion as can be. I used to think it was a bad thing. But now, I changed my mind.
Those oxfords are gorgeous, such a handsome color and patina. Also the skinny pink belt, nice touch
How do you find La Perla bras? I have a love/hate relationship with them. Yes, they are incredibly beautiful. But on me, the fit has just been very off. I’ve owned 2, sold 1, and the other I keep for some reason.
It depends on who/what/where of what I’m getting dressed for, what eyes I will view myself with. But it’s not just clothes alone. There’s an IG account (alxmrchenergy) that put up a quote: “Every person you attract into your life is a vibrational match for you. Something about this person reflects your state of being or issues you are also harboring internally.” I went through a period where I was a miserable zombie—I would be horrified to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror at target. And the people and the way I was being treated reflected that. I didn’t even recognize myself. Now, I feel much lighter. When I catch myself in the mirror, I look pretty despite my stubborn skin issues. (But I don’t get a big head about it because I am the queen of walking around with crap on my face for hours and no one tells me). My clothes haven’t changed. But the people and random, unexpected kindness that have come into my life tell me that there is something different about me. And maybe in reality, I don’t look much different…but I think I am projecting a different energy. I strive to look young, vibrant, and foolish as it sounds, I want to have smooth, flawless skin…a forever battle!
I am glad you guys protested every time I wanted to dye those oxfords black. I need them to be burgundy. They feel powerful in some sense.
I think I resist trends but become a late adaptor in the end. I want to wear pink every day and have been finding ways to add it to my outfit. This seems to happen a lot to me. I want block heels. I bought those lace up flats in the past after the trend has passed. I think Valentino rockstuds are beautiful. This list goes on.
La Perla – I only have that one bra. I got it second hand from Vestiare Collective. It was a huge gamble buying something based on the pretty quotient. But it fits me great and it has helped my love life. The lace has been wearing so much better than the Stella McCartney bralette I have. About the fit – I think I am an easy body type to dress. I never feel the need to go to a store – clothes just fit somehow. I am so glad you sold the ones that didnt workout. Makes it easier for me to find the stuff I want on the second hand market.
I see your outfit photos and see fantastic skin ! I think you are doing a great job preserving the beauty 🙂
Pret a Porter P ( I wish I knew your name), Thank you so much for sharing.
my camera has a face photoshop feature, which I have to turn up to ATleast medium to look decent. I’m horrified when I see myself without it. I started blogging 10 years ago, when I lived in intense fear but I needed a creative outlet, so I never wanted my name associated with some stupid thing I’m putting online. Then I turned a certain age, and I just stopped caring and started fighting back. But…as I’m not a career blogger I don’t see the super need to associate my name or “face” with the blog. I’m quite a boring person tbh, so it’s nice to pretend that I have a little bit of mystery.