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* The only picture of him I am authorized to use for style posts.

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RITUAL ONE :

Scorn when I get a box in the mail.

“Argh, Shopping.” “What did you get, again ? “ “Another return?” I have been trying to get him hooked on to Everlane for his needs. He dresses in some very neutral basics and is comfortable spending in the price range of the brand. He doesn’t waste anything or let go of an item unless it’s not wearable anymore. He doesn’t like spending time contemplating purchases or looking into backgrounds of brands to research their ethics. Everlane is perfect for him. It checks all the boxes. Basics that are affordable, ethically made and fuss free. Spring offers free shipping and returns and carries Everlane. But he hasn’t warmed up to online shopping.

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RITUAL TWO :

Get irritated when in contact with promos.

You buy something from a company and they pester you with promos for the rest of time. You unsubscribe from emails. They now know your home address and they start sending catalogs. They wish you for Christmas. Its sweet and cruel at the same time. He doesn’t care for any of it.

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RITUAL THREE :

Roll eyes at my fashion magazines.

I want to hoard magazines. I like vintage magazines and want to observe timeline of how fashion evolves. He catches me flipping through the pages and immediately appoints himself as an interpreter. He settles down with an evil grin next to me. And then the commentary starts … “Prada is wearing socks with sandals in Japanese Vogue. This is real fashion. I am going to wear socks with rubber flip flops to dinner. This is high fashion. You don’t know anything after reading all this ! ”  …

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RITUAL FOUR :

Blank out when I talk about clothes.

He is subscribed to my blog. I don’t think he reads it. And when he does, it is to collect material to make fun of, later on. I will never forgive this comedian for putting out the ‘Nothing Box’ theory. Apparently men have this box in the brain where they go into, and don’t think about anything. Just stay blank. I sit and talk to him about my thoughts on fashion and he goes into a meditation mode. He blanks out and invokes the nothing box theory. I think I do the same when he talks about sports.

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RITUAL FIVE :

One fine day, its shopping day.

He woke up last Sunday and all he wanted to do in life, was to go shop. He was eager to go – with or without me. He picked out a mall, read reviews on yelp about the parking situation, stocked up on Banh Mi sandwiches from our favourite Vietnamese place for a snack, even wore sunscreen and dragged me along. “I am going to shop so much that you are going to be jealous”, he said. And off we went. He had a budget and a list of things he needed.  Stuck to it and walked out when done. “Barney’s is my new favourite store.” It was perfect haul indeed.

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RITUAL SIX :

Rapid fire Decluttering.

I write blog posts. Read other blogs. Make lists and edit them. And make a big fuss before I let go of anything. He took 5 minutes. Off went some 5 year old things and the new things took their place on the hanger. I offered to sell them for him but he wanted to donate them and be done. End of story.

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RITUAL SEVEN :

Repeat till next year’s serendipitous shopping day.

He was my boyfriend for 3 years. Husband for 6 years and counting. This happens annually and we never talk about shopping for the rest of the year. He becomes this ‘other person’ for one day of the year.

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I am torn between being envious of how good he is at turning off the switch when not needed and the happiness I derive from being obsessed with fashion/style. I am constantly looking at fashion magazines, instagram, influencers and editorials. And I really enjoy it all. I would like to shop less while having my head in fashion. Is that even possible ? You see beautiful things all day long and you have to tune your brain to immediately not wonder “how will that look on me.” Just admire and move on. I am trying. Most of us fail and that is the reason why most folk confuse love of fashion with love of shopping. Two months into shopping fast and counting….